The Christmas Lie

29 Nov

 

I often follow blogs because they’re just so gosh darn pretty. The photography is sublime and perfectly captures the beautiful happenings of the blogger’s life. And I am a BIG sucker for the pretty, the aesthetically pleasing. So those kinds of blogs get me right in the sweet spot.

And yes, in some small way, I aspire to that pretty life. Even though The Little Mumma has built itself on truth-telling, even though that is the number one reason people tell me they love this particular blog, I still yearn for the pretty. And scheme about the various pretty things I could blog about.

So I started taking photos when we went to get our Christmas tree this Saturday just gone. I thought there’d be lots of opportunity to get some really great shots of the family choosing our first real pine tree together. And actually, I did get some really cute shots. And then once again, when we decorated the tree.

A picture is worth a thousand words. This we know to be true. But did anyone ever bother to question whether any of those thousand words were even remotely true? Because I can tell you unequivocally that the photos you see above are out and out LYING. It looks like a family, four adorables, laughing and revelling in the holiday cheer. But really, if it had a soundtrack, it might begin to paint a very different picture.

“No, LD, you may not take the photos. Because the camera is very expensive and you’re only three years old, that’s why! Don’t you dare hit the camera with that dinosaur. Don’t make me send you to time out! B, Zee is eating the tinsel! Stop Zee from eating the tinsel, B! LD, don’t wrap the tinsel around my neck. LD! I sa -aaccchhhhh, aaaccchhhh! Right, that’s it, time out! Time out for choking your mother! No Zee, we just put those baubles up, stop taking them down. No, Zee! No! No, don’t chew the electrical cord. B, unplug the lights! Quick, unplug them, Zee is chewing the cord. LD, they’re called Christmas carols and we’re going to listen to them and ENJOY it. I said ENJOY IT, damn it!” 

Betty, my mum, called me today. She asked me how the tree decorating had gone. I told her it had been a hellish nightmare and that we’d quit half way through and only once the kids were safely tucked away in bed did we attempt to finish it. She laughed and said something along the lines of “Kids ruin everything. They’re bullshit.” That’s my interpretation of it, in any case. And yes, many things I’ve so very much looked forward to doing with my kids and introducing them to for the first time have invariably descended into a whingeing, crying fiasco. With a couple of misleading photos to mark the occasion.

So, I think next time I’m looking at one of my favourite pretty blogs, I’m going to remind myself of what they’re not saying. Because the pretty blog, the blog as art, has an important place. I definitely want to keep reading them. As long as I don’t start beating myself up for not being them….

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2 Responses to “The Christmas Lie”

  1. julie firkin November 29, 2010 at 9:11 pm #

    Don’t beat yourself up for not being pretty. I like you just the way you are 🙂

  2. Ladybird November 29, 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    Betty is awesome.

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